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Wish we could go back to when she loved me

I just want her back…I wish we could go back to the time when she loved me. I miss her, this is fucking insane I tell you. Why is it so hard to let go.

Just want to turn back time and be with her again. Like we use to be… 

It thought this time, it’ll be different. things are good. it’s worth it, we’ll get through it. But once again I feel so stupid, like fool…all shitty.

I keep waiting, waiting for the impossible to happen, like she’s gonne wake up and realize what she’s missing….

I’m just a fool for love. You know, all I ever wanted was to be loved.

This is sucky. I sound like a child going on about how I can’t let go of something.

I swear I’m like a fat kid who wants his piece of chocolate cake. I still care about her, I still love her why’s that?

I want to forget her, and hate her….to get over her and move on.

Sometimes I wish I could burn her, make her suffer for what she’s done, but I’m not that kind of a person. I can’t stand seeing her sad, hurt…unhappy you know. She looked so beautiful when she smiled. I miss her voice, her smile. 

I know I may seem harsh by throwing out all my feelings at her at some point…but it’s only cause I want her to know what she means to me. But I guess none of these things will ever get her back..

I can’t make her love me. I need to stop fighting, stop trying….I need to let go…deep down I still have hope…that she will come back….she’d want me back…I’m a fool.

I wish she’d understand I know what she is going through, that I truly understand….she underestimated depth of my understanding….

Just want it all back to the way it was. I’m too hopeful…

:[

Understanding to some is an Understatement

Take a look around you….you’re not the only one. Open your eyes and see that out of so many people whom surround, there is one who truly understands. don’t underestimate the power of that person. Careful what you say, words do burn, cant always bounce them off you know. Don’t push away people who care about you. People who throw around words like there is no meaning behind them, stay far away from those…cause they’ll never be good at keeping promises or keeping there word

It’s not the Goodbye that hurts, it’s the Flashbacks that follow.

Can’t seem to get her out of my mind…Keep my mind occupied, try and make my self happy…works for a while then i’m back to square one. It hurts. I hate feeling this way. Makes me feel weak. I don’t wanna fall back into depression. What hurts is that it seems like I never existed to her. It makes me think she never really cared and ‘I love you’ was all bullshit. It seems like it was just being thrown around for the sake of it. Constantly having flashbacks. trying to make my self understand what went wrong, what happened? Things were good…but then they all go wrong…

 I hate feeling like I’m forgotten….like I never really existed. She seems to be quite happy without me around. Yes giving her space to let her deal with other life issues. A little part of me thinks, if I give her enough space some how she might run back to me and want me again. Sad isn’t it, how you make your self so hopeful. It’s just so much to take. 

Never expected it to hurt this much, I wasn’t gonne get seriouse about her…but just when I did, she decided she wants to let go, push me away yes. Just cause other life issues have occupied her life. Reminds me of when she told me about what someone did to her and how it made her feel. What they did to her she did to me. Sometimes i wish for karma to get her but I still care too much. 

Wish I didn’t…..

In time it’ll heal, they say, and I’m aware of that. Just wanted to be loved…without the bullshit you know.

Hate giving my all and being knocked to the ground. Getting back up is hard….i’m trying….I miss her. I wish she new what she meant to me. I feel like a fool….I shouldn’t give a fuck….after the way she hurt me. Reminds me of what the other girl did to me….it was like going through a repeat of past events. Every word she would say to me reminded me of the previous girl who broke me.

I’m not a child I know I wont die from this, and I know heart breaks make you stronger and all that crap but sometimes you just have had enough of something you know.

I’m a good person, I have a big heart….well maybe I’ve done something wrong to deserve this but again I don’t want to be all negative and cause my self to fall into depression….I use to be in that place…No way do I want to go back…I’m fighting.

I miss her tho….feels like she’s forgotten me….

Can’t believe a little part of me still believes she might want me back, she’ll come running to me….god damn it I’m too hopeful. Maybe she reads this and realizes how much I cared…..just maybe you know how you want them to know…

“I don’t think anything hurts, more than the feeling of being forgotten or replaced.”

:’[

Missing her drives me insane

Missing her every second is driving me insane. I know I should just ignor it but it’s so hard. I want to just not care but then I feel bad, I care too much. Why is it that I miss her so much. This sucks. I hate when I can’t just talk to her without arguments. I just want to be understood. This is so sucky. I miss her and it drives my mind on to a open road full of fast cars. Wish it would stop!!!!!

Still trying to figure tumblr out

So I’m new to this, and I’m still trying to figure it out. Now I know how to follow people which is super cool hahaha. AND i feels special when someone follows me yay.

SO please be patient with me cause I’m slowly figuring this out. It’s quite addictive I shall say. Will try and post more things. I’m so bad at these things, life can get so busy. But I will try and share my wheee part of life here. :]

I don’t need all that But I do need…

Diamonds and pearls won’t make me yours nor would it make me happy

But having you treat me just right and having you make me smile would do just fine

I don’t want the world from you,

But I want you to give me your world

I don’t want you to give me all the lovin’ in the world

But I want you to give me all of your love

I don’t want you to take a bullet for me

I’d rather have you dodge it with me,

Cause I want you to live by my side

I don’t need any proof that you are mine

Because having you with me every day is solid proof

I don’t need a dozen roses

But just one fake rose that’ll never die

I don’t need to look for a definition of love

Cause baby YOU are my definition of LOVE

By Zahra